"Is my Allah happy with me?"
If the answer is yes, then good for you. Keep struggling against the flow. What you wish is beyond the strong current, but you can get it.
If Allah Ta'aala can give power to
- Fish that can swim up river to spawn
- Baby turtles that struggle three days out of the sand before struggling off the beach to the water
- Birds that fly through waterfalls to reach their nests
Then certainly He has given Ashraful Makhlooqaat the most power to follow His commands, no matter how much pressure there is against that person.